


The Responsibility of River Tam

by Taskir



Category: Firefly
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 10:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17098721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taskir/pseuds/Taskir
Summary: A challenge response to the prompt, "Inara teaches River to be a lady".





	The Responsibility of River Tam

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written 2006.

Inara looked over at the small sea of girls gathered on the bottom steps of the temple and felt supremely underqualified. Last week, when one of her instructors had chosen her to help greet the arriving Novices, she had been thrilled. At barely fifteen, she was one of the youngest in her class, and being picked out for a special honor such as this made her feel she was finally growing up, at least in her teacher’s eyes.

But now, surveying the twenty-odd faces staring up at her, looking for guidance, she inwardly faltered. The oldest of these girls looked as though she might be Inara’s age already -- which of course was impossible, the Training House would never accept a Novice over the age of twelve. How could she possibly be expected to gain the respect of girls only three years younger than her?

Inara squared her shoulders and ran through the options for expressions in her mind. She decided on a tiny smile, a look she hoped was open and understanding, but still imparted confidence. Lightly stepping down so she could be better seen by the Novices, she was able to hear as the Matron, Miss Blanc, finished her instructions.

“...after which you will proceed to your assigned dormitories. You will have one hour to unpack and make yourselves comfortable before the half-hour dinner chime. Is that clear to everyone?” Miss Blanc’s eyes traveled over the assembled Novices, and Inara suppressed a shudder at her own memory of the Matron’s strange grey eyes. At the time, Inara thought perhaps Companions were trained as mind readers, for she had certainly felt Miss Blanc was looking right into her, judging her, and finding her unworthy. Even now, standing next to her instructor, Inara could almost believe Miss Blanc would turn to her, see her uncertainty, and send Inara back to work on her tea service instead.

In an effort to counteract any fear of the Novices, and also to keep herself from possibly meeting Miss Blanc’s gaze, Inara let her own eyes travel over the group, still offering her tiny smile, hoping her eyes were imparting kindness. Her eyes again caught sight of the older-looking girl, and on closer inspection it was obvious that the girl was no older than any of the others. She was simply taller than any of them.

This girl was standing a bit apart from the rest, which also made her height more noticeable. Like the rest, she was dressed modestly, and carried one small suitcase with her. The girl’s height could be attributed to her legs, which were impossibly long, and on any other girl might give the impression of a colt, but this girl was already starting to grow into her limbs.

Most remarkable of all, this Novice, out of all of them, looked the least afraid. In fact, Inara was surprised to see, the girl was exuding more calm than Inara felt. Seeming to sense someone’s eyes on her, the girl glanced up and met Inara’s gaze, and Inara could immediately sense two things: first, this girl was already quite beautiful and would only grow to be more so, and second, there was a light of defiance in her calm brown eyes. Inara recognized it for what it was, because she had often been accused of having a similar look when she first arrived.

Inara looked away and turned her attention to the data screen Miss Blanc had handed her once she’d finished the roll call. A quick glance at Miss Blanc showed she was busy separating the Novices into age groups. Inara wouldn’t be needed until it was time to take the eldest girls to their dormitory.

Quickly, she flipped through the files, searching for the girl’s face on the monitor. Rackham…Shimzou…there she was. Tam, River. Inara glanced up at the girl again to confirm she was matching the right face -- capture files so seldom looked like the real person. Looking back down at the screen, she skimmed the information. Twelve years old, born on Osiris. Parents still living, both prominent in their fields. One sibling, a younger brother. Test scores were all well above average…

“Inara? Miss Serra?” Miss Blanc’s voice was sharp and sounded on the edge of displeased. Inara looked up at the Matron, clicking off the data screen and quickly supplying her best contrite posture.

“Yes, Matron?”

“Please take these Novices to Shi Er Dormitory. If you aren’t too busy looking at private information, that is.”

Inara had trained herself strenuously not to blush, but could feel in her cheeks all her work had been for nothing. “Yes, Matron.” This was not good. To be shown up like this in front of a crowd of Novices...this would be hard to erase from their memories, especially if, as her instructors hinted, she might be allowed to be an assistant teacher to some of them. 

Willing away her coloring cheeks, she smiled at the group before her, now whittled down to six, one of whom was River Tam. She still had not lost that enigmatic look of calm, and unlike the others, when River smiled back at her, it was genuine and somehow knowing -- which made it all the more disconcerting for reasons Inara could not place. 

“Please, follow me.”

********

After escorting the Novices safely to their dormitory, Inara announced that she would stay and help them unpack before dinner.

As she assisted each girl, she asked about her family, her homeworld, which subjects she liked best, carefully filing the information away. She had lost face with these girls and with Miss Blanc on the temple steps, and was determined to both make these girls see she intended to be their friend, and also gather information that could be valuable to Miss Blanc.

The blonde she was speaking to now, for example. Her name was Jenny, and Inara found her a thoroughly pleasant enough girl, with bright blue eyes and animated features. However, in talking to her, she was fast discovering Jenny had a habit of flipping her long blonde hair back over her shoulder each time she wanted to make a point. There was nothing wrong with the gesture per se, but it would do well for Jenny to start intensive work in body language.

Finally, she moved on to the last bed at the end of the room -- River Tam. So far, the only thing River had removed from her suitcase was a capture of her family, which she was now sitting on the bed contemplating.

“River?” Inara smiled. “Would you like some help unpacking?”

River’s large eyes met hers, and again Inara sensed that spark of defiance. “No, thank you Miss Serra. I’m quite alright.”

“Well, at least let me hang up your clothes for you. We don’t want them to get wrinkled.”

“I suppose.” River’s eyes drifted back down to the capture.

Inara paused a moment, unsure if she really ought to be doing so menial a thing as hanging up a Novice’s clothes for her. An image of Miss Blanc’s grey eyes floated into her mind, disapproving and cold. However, she reasoned, wouldn’t Miss Blanc be more upset if the first time Inara was put in charge of younger girls, she was unable to do something as simple as get them unpacked?

Decided, Inara opened River’s suitcase and began pulling out the few dresses inside, carefully placing them on the carved wooden hangers in the wardrobe. When she finished with the dresses, she removed the under things from the suitcase and, refolding each one neatly, laid them in the wardrobe’s bottom door.

Finally, she looked over at River again. “Well...that’s done now.” River still made no response, so Inara set the suitcase aside and sat next to River on the bed. She could see the capture more clearly now -- River, with a distinguished looking older couple and a young boy, probably no more than six, dressed very finely and smiling.

“Is that your family, River?”

“Yes.” Her eyes never leaving the capture.

Inara struggled for a way to proceed. The other five girls had been so forthcoming, so eager to talk and share that it had taken hardly any of her communication skills to draw them out.

“What is your brother’s name?”

A small smile crept on to River‘s face. “Simon. He’s a real brat, but he’s incredibly smart. A genius, really. My parents are very proud of him.” Suddenly River’s voice, which had seconds ago been almost cheerful, dropped an octave and became flat. “And I’m here because I meddle. I ask too many questions.”

Inara blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift in tone. She glanced over her shoulder to see if the other Novices were listening in on them. Thankfully, they were at the far end of the room, crowded around Kavita’s bed as she showed off the opulent jewelry her mother had allowed her to bring. Inara turned her attention back to River, about to ask her why she felt that way, when River spoke up again, her voice still barely conveying emotion.

“You’re asking us questions because you want to tell Miss Blanc about us. About how Jenny flips her hair too much and Lyra likes chocolates and Kavita will be difficult because she only believes what her mother tells her. I’m telling you so you won’t have to ask. I’m here because I’m troublesome. My parents want me to take up a profession that rewards humility, grace, deference. Not asking questions.” The tiny smile had disappeared, and River had still not raised her head from the capture, her eyes seemingly locked on it. “Not answering any, either.”

“Well...we...” Inara swallowed, struggling to regain composure. “We would never keep someone here who did not wish to be. If, in a few years, you decide this is not the path for you, no one would bar you from leaving.”

“You would, though. Leave us here, pretty things cocooned away, not to be touched. Shelter and sheltered. Glass menagerie.” River’s voice was starting to rise. Her fingers were turning white from her grip on the capture. “Never can go home. Click my shoes but the whirlwind doesn’t bring me back.”

Inara sat, rooted to her spot on the bed, shocked beyond all action. The girl was in some kind of trance. Inara had never seen anything like it, not even when the House Priestess meditated for days on end. Soon River would be loud enough that the other girls would hear, and the thought they would be frightened galvanized her.

As smoothly as she could, praying she would not attract attention, Inara grabbed River’s shoulders and shook her, hissing, “River!”

A miracle, it seemed to work. River’s hands dropped the capture, letting it clatter to the floor.

Inara gently put a hand under River’s face and lifted her chin. “River? Are you...are you alright?”

River’s eyes were wide and staring at nothing. For a moment Inara feared she would open her mouth and start shrieking. Then River blinked, and took a gasping breath as if she’d been under water.

“Miss Serra? What happened?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”

River was the picture of confusion. “I...must have blacked out. I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t frighten you too much, did I?”

Inara searched the girl’s face. She genuinely seemed to have no memory of what had just happened. Her file hadn’t said anything about blackouts...her file mentioned no medical problems at all, in fact. Inara looked at River’s scared face, and using all the training she could muster, forced a smile.

“Yes. That’s exactly what happened, River. You had us all quite worried.” Somewhere deep within the building, a chime sounded. Still keeping one hand on River’s shoulder, Inara stood and addressed the other Novices, who were still clustered around Kavita’s bed.

“Girls? That was the half-hour chime for dinner. You have a half-hour to dress and make yourselves presentable, and I will be back to take you to the dining hall.” Satisfied when each girl made a beeline back to her wardrobe to pick out her most flattering gown, Inara turned her attention back to River. “Are you certain you’re alright? You don’t need to see the medico on staff?”

River smiled up at her, and the fear of a few moments ago could just as easily have been a nightmare. The transformation was hardly believable. 

“I’ll be fine, Miss Serra. Thank you. But now I must dress for dinner.”

Inara hesitated, but when River jumped off the bed and began to sort through her clothing with as much relish as the other Novices, she decided it would be best left alone. Nodding to the girls, she exited the room and made her way back to her own dormitory.

Her head swam, and she almost wished she could pass on the responsibility of watching these Novices -- at least, pass on River Tam. There were so many contradictions surrounding the girl. So many unanswered questions flying about her head. Most pressing was whether or not to share what she had witnessed with Miss Blanc, or, perhaps, even take it to the House Priestess.

If River had another episode, a more public one, and it was discovered that Inara knew and did nothing...Inara could not imagine the punishments she would receive for such a transgression. On the other hand, River had seemed authentically frightened of what had happened -- if she even truly realized what had. Perhaps River was being truthful, and she did simply suffer some type of blackout. Was it not logical, then, to assume she was simply speaking the way one does in dreams -- out of context, spouting nonsense?

Yes, Inara decided. That was quite obviously the most sensible conclusion. All the same, she resolved to keep a close eye on River. She was, after all, Inara’s responsibility.


End file.
